Silly Me

6 Jan

With only four hours of sleep the night before, it was hard to function yesterday. I have forgotten what and how it’s like to dig deep into the reserves to function normally.

But we had no choice because M1’s flight was 8.00am and we had to wake up by 3.00am. Our body system and morning rituals were messed up a little because by 6.00am after checking in, we had two breakfasts already, once at home and another at the airport whilst waiting with her!

Thankfully it wasn’t an emotional farewell. There were some tears I’d admit and I managed to hold them at bay. But the void in the heart, it started to build and felt heavy. Sniffle…

After the goodbye, we headed straight for the office, dropping off M2 at school on the way (yes, she was late). I tried to work to keep busy but found myself constantly checking flightaware.com. By 1.00pm, I gave up and decided to channel my energy elsewhere. Otherwise the void would envelop me with more anxiety. Playing my virtual games didn’t help because I had the computer in front of me.

So we went to play golf.

And I played horribly because I couldn’t focus. A far cry compared to my December game where I hit 6 pars and every department worked so well. This time every department was not functioning. And not only the body was tired and sapped of energy, my mind kept wandering. I also kept looking at my iPhone whenever we had to wait, to see where the plane was! Silly me.

I was creating my anxiety further when Flightaware showed the plane had landed in Narita but we didn’t get an update from M1. Knowing full well the transit time was barely sufficient and the security process was probably very stringent with the inbound flight to the US, there may not be an update. Yet I was wishfully anticipating one. Silly me.

By the 15th Hole, a relatively short 100m across-the-pond-Par 3, the silly me changed from my usual iron to a shorter one just because it was a red flag. What was I thinking? Already tired to the core and a shorter club?? Big mistake. I dumped my shot into the water. Twice! Silly me.

After that, I told hubby we should just give up the last three holes because both of us had no more energy left to continue. Also I had no focus at all, it was pointless to carry on. Came home so drained…

By 10.30pm, I don’t know about hubby but I was knocked out and didn’t see my phone until 7.00am this morning that M1 finally updated. After close to 24 hours of travel, she had arrived safely but still one more car ride to get to campus. All that unnecessary anxiety. Silly me.

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